Self-Doubt: Jeremiah & I

Jeremiah was very hesitant about the calling on his life from the get-go. He questioned God whether he could attempt to do what he was purposed for. While facing an up-hill battle against his own worries, doubts about self-worth and self-efficacy, Jeremiah replied to the calling, "I will go."

Passages later, Prophet Jeremiah curses his own birth, the day of his birth, the person who joyfully declared his birth, and his mother's womb. Every word from God was about the fire-breathing imminent judgement upon the people of Israel, and he had had it.

As a young woman who feels as if life could not be filled with even more questions. I am feel overwhelmingly confused about the calling itself. Did I hear it wrong? I cannot seem to remember the weight of its purpose and power I had felt at the time it was bestowed. I am no longer proximate to the calling than I had been yesterday. Yet, there is a calling to draw nigh to Him.

I am now relying on the pull of His grace, the faithful grace, to call me Home. I am in the water hip-deep, and waiting to be called in deeper. I may curse the day I was born, but He visited me in the womb. He gave life which I may not be fully ok with, but who am I to refute when the vessel is in the hands of its potter?